Production: Digs Deep
What's good my peoples? As you know, I took a hiatus from the Monthly Quarterly to focus on writing tracks for my first full-length album, which will be titled "Pipe Dreams". I was attempting to work on both at the same time, though I quickly realized that it was stretching my creativity a bit too thin. I wasn't very happy with any of the stuff I was working on, and along with dealing with my financial difficulties (and life in general), I was overwhelmed.
Those that know me well know that I deal with depression,
and that it's not something I like to talk about, or even mention. This recent
stress triggered another bout of it however, and after getting through it I
wanted to write a track about how it feels when it strikes.
Shout-outs to Digs Deep, who made the dope beat which let me
air my feelings out, and also to Allie from Hyperbole and a Half, who wrote an
amazing (and very funny) post of how depression feels. It inspired me to do the
same in song format. The image I used is from that, and you can check out the
post here. I highly recommend checking her other stuff out too, she's
hilarious.
Though I'm still working on "Pipe Dreams", I've
finished enough of it that I once again feel comfortable returning to the
Monthly Quarterly and working on both. Hope you enjoy the track my peoples!
(Lyrics)
What do you do, when you feel that you’re not getting any stronger?
(Lyrics)
What do you do, when you feel that you’re not getting any stronger?
What do you say, when you feel that you can’t do it any
longer?
Well, that’s the thing; it's just a feeling, ain’t nothing
concrete.
And even if it was you just gotta overcome it, break through
like a rose growing in the street.
But it seems so bleak. Constantly ask myself, “Yo, what’s
the point of trying?”
Motivation’s dying; find I’m only sighing at the things left
incomplete.
Honestly I’d rather just sleep, and never wake up cause I
never get enough.
I feel the fatigue everyday. Makes me want to give up.
Cause I can’t
Understand.
What it means,
To simply be.
I want to feel normal.
But I’ve forgotten what it feels like.
So get me some manufactured bliss, so I can get to feeling
right.
Cause I want to feel.
Something unreal.
Tired of the day to day.
So let me just say:
That I want to feel normal.
But I forgot what it feels like.
So get me some homegrown bliss, so I can get back to feeling
right.
You feel it right?
I feel alright.
Like déjà vu, everyday is nothing new.
Unless it’s one of those days where getting out of bed is
the only thing I can do.
An accomplishment; for those depressed, dealing with too
much stress.
Feel like I’m out my mind, cause both it and my life are
such a mess.
Sometimes I want to escape it.
I’m just so tired of this stasis.
I can see obstacles blocking my path and I’m thinking, can I
even make it?
Better not chance it, that’s my modus operandi.
I’ll assess the risk, and if one exists, I’ll just grab the
whisky invariably.
Unless there’s something more potent, something that’ll keep
me hoping,
Cause now I’m hanging off a cliff that’s sloping, and as far
as I can tell I’m near where the rope ends.
Even though it’s clear that you think I’m fine, cause
whenever you see me I laugh and smile; a wonderful mask that I made from the past
that I’ve had for a while.
